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"People will look at you and say you are either wasting your time, dangerous or both" ~ About Research

"There is a way to get physicists all hot and bothered. Tell them that there is a new force."

"If you're not doing something wrong. You're not doing hard enough stuff."

"These big pieces of chalk are frightening."

"Fat thumb, small pointer." ~ Skipping Slides

"If you were a capillary tube, you would need to know about these things." ~ Capillary Rise etc

"We'll take it easy at first and go prancing along merrily." ~ Survey Course Versus Fluids

"In the magical world of de Gennes and his friends..."

"It was the 60s. We were wide awake... I think." ~ Saturday Morning Classes

"When you take the cheap easy way... like de Gennes... AND win the Nobel Prize." ~ Choosing what information is extraneous

"Who knows what he had been drinking or smoking at the time?" ~ de Gennes and AFM tips

"I have a hammer. Now what can I hit with it?" ~ Creating an equation and then applying it.

"There is only one group of people you can legitimately make fun of...Canadians." ~ Russians at fault for kappa^-1 capillary length

"Think about that when you are going to sleep. It will put you to sleep." ~ high energy = low contact angles, low energy = high contact angles

"That's a nasty description of a mathematician... Someone who doesn't try to understand much."

"In grad school if you see a math course with algebra...think again."

"When you are 6 feet tall it makes a difference..."~When you are talking about nothing

"For 22 years we tell them, 'Don't think about it.' Then when they get married we ask, when will they? When will there be little Morrisons?" ~ Sex

"You'll tell your children about the first time you learned the screening length."

"It's hard to do derivations while the Red Sox are losing." ~ Another great reason for them to win more often. Higher scientific productivity in Boston.

"If you ever see log(n) you know someone in statistical mechanics has been there." ~ Derivation of repulsion in a polymer chain

"This equation is older than sin...." ~ Hydrostatics

Drunks = Random walk and Blob theory